A Gentleman’s Guide to the Gym

My motto is fuck no! Dont go!

I shall inform you why in my opinion the gym is a terrifying place for the average man.

There is big scary men there and some are not very friendly, some are gentle giants lovely magnificent beasts of the earth. The others well let’s just say their pure scum of the earth.

They go to the gym to get buff, it then goes beyond buff to the point of obsession! They want to get bigger and bigger and BIGGER! I spoke to one gentleman who used to work out at the gym every day and if he was not the biggest man in the gym it would flip him into a jealous rage and bear in mind he had such big arms they would not hang down by his side properly he looked ridiculous! He just wanted to be the biggest and would stop at nothing, he ate a disgusting amount of calories a day, protein shakes and when that wouldn’t do it he turned to steroids.. yes they really do make your balls smaller as if you were a wee baby.

People get naked at the gym, fair enough your going for a shower but don’t stand there talking to me with your tiny balls tucked up underneath your cock like it’s normal, it’s really not and its weirding me the fuck out.

Theres also woman at the gym and I know what your thinking waaaheey women! No! Its depressing when a woman can lift give times the weight you can and then looks at you like a piece of trash. Also some just go there to watch the muscle bodies men drip creatine everywhere.

But if you want to go to the gym and lose a bit of weight, tone up then go ahead it’s an obstacle course of shit but you’ll have some fun a long the way probably….. unless you dont but dont say I didn’t warn you.

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