A Gentleman’s Guide to the Gym

My motto is fuck no! Dont go!

I shall inform you why in my opinion the gym is a terrifying place for the average man.

There is big scary men there and some are not very friendly, some are gentle giants lovely magnificent beasts of the earth. The others well let’s just say their pure scum of the earth.

They go to the gym to get buff, it then goes beyond buff to the point of obsession! They want to get bigger and bigger and BIGGER! I spoke to one gentleman who used to work out at the gym every day and if he was not the biggest man in the gym it would flip him into a jealous rage and bear in mind he had such big arms they would not hang down by his side properly he looked ridiculous! He just wanted to be the biggest and would stop at nothing, he ate a disgusting amount of calories a day, protein shakes and when that wouldn’t do it he turned to steroids.. yes they really do make your balls smaller as if you were a wee baby.

People get naked at the gym, fair enough your going for a shower but don’t stand there talking to me with your tiny balls tucked up underneath your cock like it’s normal, it’s really not and its weirding me the fuck out.

Theres also woman at the gym and I know what your thinking waaaheey women! No! Its depressing when a woman can lift give times the weight you can and then looks at you like a piece of trash. Also some just go there to watch the muscle bodies men drip creatine everywhere.

But if you want to go to the gym and lose a bit of weight, tone up then go ahead it’s an obstacle course of shit but you’ll have some fun a long the way probably….. unless you dont but dont say I didn’t warn you.

Are We Watching The World Burn?

Well to cut a long story short and save you time reading this then yes!

There’s currently wildfires blazing across Alaska and Siberia in what some are saying is unprecedented heat in those areas.

As I sit here with very sweaty balls, yes it is the summer but these are some of the coldest places on earth! Being reduced to ash as the dry, once snow covered kindling is blazing away. The permafrost is melting in Siberia unleashing a vast amount of deadly shit, like ancient diseases and large methane pockets.

We have terrifyingly ridiculous men in charge of the most powerful countries

in the world who believe nothing is happening. Que the ominous music… but you stick an average guy (pardon the pun) in a place of world power and I’m damn sure he would do the right thing to try and save the fucking planet but oh well who are we to comment on how we as human fucking beings, who have just as much as a right to this planet as any other bastard get to say how the planet gets to be.

All in all I say the average man should have a voice and be heard and as brothers and sisters on this planet we should be allowed to have a say but noooo the politicians get all the say and if something is too hard they sweep it under the rug and collect their massive check! Well I say fuck you politicians get your head out of your ass and do you Job properly which is to make things better for the average Joe.

So if you made it this far well done, thank you for reading! Mucho appreciato. I hope the world will soon sort itself out but a change has to be made and I’m damn well not going to stop until it has! This has been the average guy and I hope you have a cracking day.